Just a closer Walk with Thee
This season of my life has challenged me, sobered me, and made me treasure the present. I watched the seasons change outside my window, summer flowers, fall leaves and winter snow showers. My health seemed to match the season, summer was fragrant, fall was changing so fast and winter has been cold and yet beautiful. I have always loved the seasons of Michigan, it is never boring. There are so many things I have learned and some are surprising. One interesting revelation was that many of you sing about going to Heaven, but no one wants to go now. When I would explain that I have peace about God deciding when I go to Heaven, no extra treatments, many felt I was giving up, or showing little faith in healing. That was so far from the trust I have in my omnipotent God. I would love to be healed and see God receive the glory. Bible verses about heaven have comforted me, songs about heaven make me cry sweet tears and yet as my health is failing I must live in the present and trust God every minute. Living for the Lord has always been about living for Him now.
“21For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Philippians 1:21 was my life verse from high school through college. I was focusing on the first part, but the truth of death was again was ingrained in my mind every time I would quote the verse. “Face to face with Christ my Savior!” “When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!” I have sung those songs with all of you, but I must confess that being fearful of the unknown at 2 am, not wanting to wake your tired husband, and trying to cry quietly and pray for peace have been part of my very human struggle. Praise God, He has always calmed me and the songs in the night seem to pass a little easier. Focusing on God’s blessings, and not the things I will miss on this earth has been the hardest battle I have ever faced. I cannot for a second, dwell, cry, or long for a future that Satan wants to use to destroy the joy of my day.
There have been other changes in my seasons of life. I loved being my husband’s helpmeet. Homemaking for Tim has been a daily joy. Cooking, cleaning, and keeping our home is something I miss, and watching Tim do it all now is frustrating, because I want to help, but have no strength. He is such a blessing and has continued to encourage, protect, and shower me with unselfish love. The other change is missing my role at church and choir. I love my church and choir members. If you are sitting on the sidelines and not serving in your local church, you really are missing one of the greatest blessings you can experience. Get involved, help your church, and do it now, you have no promise of tomorrow. Be a part of God’s family, love each other, please don’t waste your season of service. Many of you have volunteered to help me, please help me by filling my spot in church. Sing in the choir, help in the nursery, be patient with each other, smile and be friendly to the visitors. Start a fresh season in your life, a season of service and faithfulness. My seasons on this earth are fading, please use your time for God now. “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”